Mediation: Remaining Friends after Divorce or Separation
02 August 2017
If you ask yourself the question ‘can I be friends with my ex following a divorce or separation?’ then the answer might be ‘yes’, ‘no’ or ‘yes and no’. Each relationship is different and it will always depend on personal circumstances.
Ultimately you must decide whether you are able to remain friends after you have separated. There are no written rules. It is, however, important to consider those around you. It might be the case that there are children, parents-in-law or the same group of friends involved, in which case maintaining an amicable relationship might make life just that bit easier following separation.
When children are involved, a divorce or separation can be extremely tough. The children are the innocent party, and do not want to see their parents arguing. Remaining friends or re-building a friendship may be the key to being able to co-parent.
It’s important to understand that the children will also need support and guidance through the process. Providing a calm home life, which will likely now be in two homes, may make it easier for the children to adapt to the change.
Mediation Following Divorce or Separation
It is important to ‘give it time’ following a divorce or separation. Emotions are often high and it is not always easy to understand how the other person is feeling. Try talking to the other person involved or asking a friend or relative to mediate in order to find some common ground.
If either person is finding it somewhat difficult to be amicable following the divorce or separation, then Mediation is available in order for each person to sit in neutral surroundings and try to work things out.
If there are any issues that you can’t resolve and you think you’ll need to involve the Courts, you’ll actually need to try Mediation first.
Mediation is when a trained professional Mediator helps you and your ex sort out childcare and/or financial matters that you cannot agree upon. This might include things such as who gets to stay in the family home, how much time the children will spend with each parent, and how much child maintenance will be paid.
This can help you reach decisions that you aren’t able to make between you – usually because of a difference of opinion, or because relations have become too difficult between you. Therefore Mediation can be a really beneficial process for couples who are divorcing or separating, as it can help you to overcome disagreements and restore family relationships.
Remember, there are no written rules on how to remain friends following a divorce or separation. It will take time to build a friendship following a divorce or separation but remember to be positive and listen to what the other person is saying. Consider the other person’s feelings as it might just be the case that they are feeling very similar to how you are feeling.