Divorce and Yo-Yo Relationships

19 January 2016

New research released today by Co-op Legal Services shows that Yo-Yo relationships are becoming a reality nationwide.

A Yo-Yo relationship is one where a couple splits up and then gets back together. This is in fact becoming an increasing trend even among couples who have already been divorced.

Surprisingly, a quarter of UK divorcees have in fact considered reconciliation with their ex-spouse and of this 28%, just over two fifths of them did actually get back together with their ex’s.

The research does seem to show that the grass is not always greener on the other side and that many aspects of life after divorce are challenging. The top five reasons for couples getting back together are:

  1. 73% ‘got over’ infidelity in their relationship
  2. 40% said they still loved each other
  3. 29% got back together because of their children
  4. 16% missed their ex-spouse
  5. 15% reconciled for financial reasons

You can see that one of the biggest challenges being faced by Yo-Yo splitters is infidelity in their marriage, however a high proportion of divorcees, three quarters in fact, who faced adultery in their relationship appear to have managed to come to terms with it and were prepared to give their marriage a second chance.

Two fifths of the survey group said that they still loved their ex-partner, even after they had been divorced and that this was the second most common reason to get back together with a partner after divorce.

The study not only focused on divorcees that reconciled, but also considered some of the more challenging aspects of a divorce. Financial matters came first, with 12% of the group finding them hard to cope with. After that, and only slightly lower than financial matters, came juggling childcare and managing the household (11%), losing touch with family and friends shared with an ex-spouse (11%) and supporting their children through the changes in their family.

Further down the list of difficult areas after a divorce were

  • Loneliness 9%
  • Being confident again 8%
  • Moving home 8%

Where couples choose to get back together they should think carefully about their reasons for doing so and are absolutely sure that this is what they want.

We also identified the impact on children of boomerang relationships, studies show that divorce is hard enough on children and it’s even harder when children are put through the prospect of their parents separating more than once.

If you are considering getting back together with your ex-spouse, think carefully about the implications before going ahead and do be kind to yourself. After all, divorce is a massive emotional upheaval, so do give it some time.

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